Harry Potter and the Star Wars Invasion
by Datalore
Summary: AKA: The Day that the Star Trek Crew and the Fellowship of the Ring save Hogwarts. Obviously a SUPERCROSSOVER fic. cowritten with Queen-Severus.
1. Care of Magical Creatures: KABOOM!

Harry Potter and the Star Wars Invasion.

Also known as:  The Day That Hogwarts was Saved by the Star Trek Crew and the Fellowship of the Ring

AN:  This is REALLY screwed up.  I don't own (here we go):  Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, or John Williams.  Cassandra Claire (Very Secret Diaries of TLOTR) was quite the inspiration for certain parts of this.  I DEFINITELY don't own Michael Jackson, but you have to admit, that Pepsi commercial was priceless…And with that, thank you.

AN2:  this was originally a RAAAAAAABBBID bright fuchsia with green and yellow polka dots and orange stripes with sharp POINTY TEETH plot bunny… hehehe.

AN3:  Basically my idea, supplemented and typed by FF.net author Queen-Severus.  Thanks for your help!

**Hogwarts, Year Five:**

            "An' this 'ere is what you'd call a Horta."

            "Looks to me like a big piece of sausage pizza."

            "Shut yer trap, Malfoy."  Hagrid was in no mood to deal with the spawn of Satan…I mean the spawn of Lucius Malfoy today.  "I got this 'ere Horta egg from some bloke named Chekov that I met up a' the Three Broomsticks the other night.  It 'atched a week ago, and I ha'nt figured out what it eats yet, so like I said, Malfoy, ya might want to be keepin' your mouth shut, in a manner o' speakin'."  Hagrid threw a wink to Hermione, who grinned from ear to ear.  It was their favorite game in Care of Magical Creatures: making fun of Malfoy.  Especially after the incident with Buckbeak a few years back.

            Hagrid looked around at the class, and noticed that Neville looked even paler than usual.  "Wha' is it NOW, Neville?"

            "Sssssssir…"  That was all Neville managed to say.  His mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing happened.  The class turned to look at what he was staring at in such horror.  They were greeted by a large green laser blast that left nothing but the walls of Hagrid's hut standing, with Fang whimpering on the doorstep.  Pieces of the flaming thatched roof embedded themselves into Malfoy's extremely hairsprayed hair, which ignited, turning the son of a Death Eater into Michael Jackson on a good day.  The Imperial AT-AT waddled back into the Forbidden Forest.  Only Harry seemed to have an inkling of exactly what the armored vehicle was.

**Imperial Log, Stardate 42983.90...  (Oh man, wrong movie)**

**Imperial Log:** General Korfram leading assault on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  The Emperor has deemed this place a threat, therefore we have been sent to remove it.  Apparently, the Emperor has made an alliance with a human by the name of Tom M. Riddle to overtake this planet, starting with this school.  We expect an easy overtake of the school and its surrounding area.

            "General, since the AT-ST's cannot tread in the forest, we had to send an AT-AT to scout the area."  A young lieutenant stood in front of the general, obviously afraid of the general's retaliation.  The general had a reputation of being quick to punish, rather than actually listening to what anyone had to say.

"I hope by making this decision, I have not overstepped my bounds.  However, we found a defensive outpost on the edge of the Forest.  It seemed a relative threat, thus we were forced to destroy it.  We quickly retreated to regroup, but some kids know we're here, as well as a rather large hermit, who might have lead the outpost."

            "So what you're saying, Lieutenant, is that you went AGAINST my orders, were SEEN, and made a UNAUTHORIZED STRIKE?!"  The general then removed his blaster and proceeded to shoot the poor lieutenant once in the gut.  "Be happy, it could have been your head.  At least this way, you'll live to learn to FOLLOW!  MY!  ORDERS!!"  And with that, the general left the room.

**First Officer's Log, Stardate 3326.4** (for real this time, kids).  The _Enterprise_ has traveled back in time to observe the Planet Earth during the Eugenics Wars era.  After making routine scans of the planet's surface, we have found an anomaly in the area known then as the United Kingdom.  Captain Kirk has deemed this an emergency, since the anomalous readings cannot be accounted for with this planet's current technological status.  An away team, including Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Ensign Chekov, and three security officers, has beamed down to investigate said anomaly.  We expect a response from the away team within the hour.

            "Keptin!!  I have read a major blast on the tricorder!  (obviously said with the best fake Russian accent that an American can put on, but as I can't type like that, all your getting is 'Keptin,' so THERE, lol).  It's centralized at bearing…328.  That's right at the border of the forest, Keptin.  Your orders, sir?"

            Kirk flipped out his communicator, in that CLASSIC one-handed motion, "Kirk to _Enterpr_"

            "Captain, Mr. Spock here.  We have read an explosion near your location.  Is the away team alright?"

            "We're fine, Spock.  Can you locate the source of the blast?"

            "Sir, it appears to have originated from the alien technology we had observed earlier.  What do you suggest we do, sir?"

            "It appears that (picture this in classic Bill Shatner Monologue Voice) these aliens want to destroy our future.  We must not let that happen!"

            ::MUSIC::  DA DUM DAAA DUMMMMMMMMM

            [commercial break]

            ::back from commercial break, Shatner in post-Monologue pose  (you know the one w/ his arms all stuck into his body, writhing in pain… oh wait, wrong episode….  The post-Monologue pose is quite different…  oh well)::

            "Jim, there's WOUNDED!!  WE MUST GO ASSIST THE WOUNDED, OR ELSE HE'LL BE _DEAD_, JIM!!!!!  AND IF YOU EVEN _TRY_ TO SAY NO, I'LL HAVE YOU RELIEVED OF YOUR DUTIES, JIM!!!!!!!  DON'T FORGET, I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!  SO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            "No need to be testy, Bones.  Of course we'll help them.  It's part of the Prime Directive!"

            [under his breath]  "No wonder you break the Prime Directive all the time, if you think that's what it means…"

            "What was that, Bones?"

            "Oh, nothing Captain."

            The away team made their way to the edge of the forest.  Along the way, one of the security officers was eaten by a spider, another by a Centaur's arrow, and the third by a Giant that kept yelling for "HAGGER!!"  Chekov sang under his breath, "Red Shirt, Red Shirt, You're Gonna Dieeeee…"  Kirk was not amused.

**Mirkwood, AKA:  The Forbidden Forest (Betcha weren't expecting THAT one;))**

            ::Nancing, nancing, nancing, nancing::  "I spy, with my super-Elf vision something in the distance!"

            "Oh give off, Legolas, that's the third time today you've said that."

            "I _know_, Mr. **Still-Not-King**, but this time I actually SEE something."

            "::sighs::  What is it, Legolas."

            "Something SHINY!!" (Thanks, Faber Wolffe, lol)

            "Is it a ring?"  Boromir's eyes gleamed.  If he couldn't have Frodo's ring, at least he'd have something pretty to hang from HIS neck.

            "No, Boromir, it's something quite unknown to me.  But it fills me with a dark dread, like that of Mordor."

            "OH SHUT UP, LEGOLAS.  If I have to hear another "dark dread" speech ONCE MORE, I'll disembowel you with my axe."

            Legolas nanced away from the group.  They sensed a pout coming on from the 3000 year old elf.

            Gandalf, who realized that no one was no longer paying attention to his Pointy Hat Trick figured it would probably be a good idea to tell the Fellowship what the nancer was gazing upon, before the Hobbits attempted to cook it in a stew.  "It's an AT-AT, though I haven't seen one of these in…  And it certainly doesn't belong on this planet.  We ought to go investigate.  Send the burglar over there… oh wait, wrong book, I mean quest, I mean fellowship, I mean… DAMN IT!  SON OF A TOOK, get your butt over here!"

            Pippin skips over to Gandalf, "What is it sir?  Can we do the pointy hat trick again?!"

            "Shut up, Pippin.  Walk over to that "shiny" and tell me if you see anything… evil."

            "Alright, but THEN we do the pointy hat trick."

            "WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE POINTY HAT TRICK!!"  Merry exclaimed, looking rather sad that Pippin had lost interest in his carrot.  The carrot was broken, so he could see how it might not be as popular as the pointy hat trick.  But it was a PERFECTLY SHAPED carrot, damn it!  The carrot deserved more respect.


	2. He's Not Dead, JIM!

Harry Potter and the Star Wars Invasion Chapter II

Disclaimer:  Look, you and I know that I own none of this stuff, or else you'd have to ask me if you can write fic, right?  Well, I assure you that I don't own anything other than this computer that I wrote this fic with.  If you feel I must put it down, I don't own Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, the Lord of the Rings, or the Very Secret Diaries.

AN:  I actually wrote this chapter, so the writing styling might be different.  If you don't like it, sorry.  If you do like it, that's good.  
AN2:  Thanks to Faber Wolffe () for the Gandalf/Aragog idea.  Be sure to visit her site, it's really good.

**Hogwarts, Year Five:**

            Harry was the first to speak after the entire class saw people in strange uniform-type clothing quickly come out of the forest towards their group.  "Are you…Captain Kirk?"

            "Yes, we are people who look like actors from the sixties, but we're actually people from the future to help you out.  By the way, I read the Harry Potter books a long time ago, but I thought they were fiction.  Could you explain that for us?"

            "Books?  I have no idea what you're talking about, sir.  I think, though, that I might write sometime in the future about my adventures at school."

            "JIM!  Come here, this boy needs help, right now!"

            sigh"What is it now, Bones?"

            "This boy here is an inch from death!  I must beam him up to heal his wounds before the medieval medicine quacks get to him first!"

            "All right, Bones, but make it quick, we may need your help later.  But before you go, I must ask you something.  How come all of your patients are always an 'inch from death' when you get them?  Is that to make their recovery look THAT MUCH MORE MIRACULOUS?!"

            Bones gave him the glare usually reserved for Spock.  You know, the really horribly awful glare of DOOOOOM!!  Ignoring the question, McCoy merely said, "Aye, sir, I'll be quick about it.  McCoy to _Enterprise_, two to beam up, and have an emergency medical team ready immediately, Spock!"

            "Affirmative, Dr. McCoy.  Spock out."

            Malfoy and the man who was called "Bones" shimmered and then disappeared.  All the wizard-born kids gasped; Lavender and Parvati fainted.  Hermione exclaimed "BUT YOU CAN'T APPARATE OR DISAPPARATE INTO OR OUT OF HOGWARTS!!!"  Seamus and Harry were in awe; transporters were real!  All Harry could think of was, "If only Mr. Weasley were here to see this…  He'd seriously freak out!"  Hagrid, thunderstruck from the utter destruction of his home, gathered up the class and lead them up to the castle.  "Oy, Harry!  Stay 'ere a moment!"

            "Thanks, Hagrid, I always wanted to meet the captain."

            "Could ye talk wi' these people, tell them that Professor Dumbledore needs to speak with them?  Cause I need to start rebuilding my hut."  Hagrid walked towards the ruined bits of his hut.  As he passed Chekov, a look of recognition passed over his face.  "Hey, aren't you…"

            "SHHHHH!!!" Chekov exclaimed.  "You'll get me in trouble!!"

            Looking more confused than usual, Hagrid merely shook his head, and walked towards the embers.

            Harry merely grinned.  He couldn't help it.  His favorite TV, I mean history, I mean book, I mean oh whatever…characters were standing right in front of him!!  "Err…Captain, would you and your men please come with me to the school, our headmaster and you should probably talk."

            "That's a good idea.  Harry's your name?"  
            "Yes, it is, sir."

            "All right, Harry, lead the way."  Harry, Kirk, and Chekov make their way up to the castle.

**Imperial Log:  **We are going to have a meeting to decide the next course of action against this school.  Of course, Ensign Walters will not be able to attend, as he has suffered an injury to his stomach from a weapons accident that we have not been able to investigate.

            "General, the AT-AT group is ready to commence attack at your command.  Currently, we have 3 AT-ATs filled with AT-STs with 2 per AT-AT.  4 more AT-ATs carry our ground forces, with 100 stormtroopers per AT-AT, though we have a capacity of 600 per AT-AT.  Our last 2 AT-ATs are empty at this time."

            The general was quite pleased with this report.  "Thank you, Colonel Grent.  What is the status of the bomber division, Commander Brotul?"

            "Our TIE bomber squadron is ready for deployment at any time, sir."

            "Thank you, Commander.  Are the TIE Crawlers ready?"

            "Yes, sir, the TIE Tank squadron is prepared for battle, however, I would like to requisition more repair parts for them, since they are easily damaged in battle."

            "Good idea, Commander, please do.  I have devised a plan for the destruction of the school.  Please watch the projector to view my plan."  He hit a switch on his datapad, and the holograph projector turned on, displaying a three-dimensional map of the school and the surrounding forest.  "Our base is here.  My plan is to have our AT-ST-filled AT-ATs go through the forest and exit the forest here.  Our TIE Crawlers will provide support for them.  Next, our troop AT-ATs will deploy behind our main force, and each group of stormtroopers will take over all entrances to the school, but will not infiltrate the school, they will stay there and lay siege.  We will then demand a surrender, and if they refuse, we will have the AT-ATs fire at the towers of the school in such a way to have the towers fall into the school, causing massive damage.  Any questions?  No?  Good, we will make the attack at 0800 hours tomorrow morning.  Dismissed."

**First Officer's Log, Supplemental:  **Dr McCoy is currently working to save the young boy he beamed up with.  Apparently, he cares as much about the Prime Directive as he does about logic.  However, since his skills are the best, his continued work on the _Enterprise_ is essential.

            The boy's eyes fluttered as his anesthetic wore off.  "Wh-Where am I?"

            Nurse Chapel said, "Never mind, you're safe now.  You'll be back home as soon as you're well.  What's your name?"

            "My name's Draco Malfoy.  Could I have my wand, please?  I don't want to lose it."

            "Of course.  Let me go get it."  What Chapel fails to see as she goes to find his wand is the calculating look on Malfoy's face.  "Here you go."

            "Thanks."  He gave Nurse Chapel that classic Malfoy grin.  Nurse Chapel found herself wishing that Mr. Spock would smile upon her like that.  While lost in this reverie, Malfoy bellowed, "STUPEFY!"  The nurse collapses, and he looks around the room, looking for a way out.  "Heh, Dad would be so proud of me taking over this… place.  ALL BY MYSELF!!!  MWAHAHAH!"  He finds a set of sliding doors [classic Star Trek SWOOOSH], and finds himself in the corridors of the ship, completely lost in the maze before him.

            "Mr. Spock, I'm receiving some strange reports about our patient going through the corridors of the ship, threatening people with a small stick.  He's knocked out 6 crewmen, including Nurse Chapel and Dr. McCoy.  Also, some people are coming into sickbay with weird ailments.  One was carried into sickbay, stiff as a board.  Dr. McCoy believes that the boy's causing these ailments somehow, but he has no possible cause."

            "Thank you, Uhura.  Please sound the Intruder Alert.  We need this boy subdued before real damage to the ship can be done."

Gandalf the (Insert your favorite color here.  Mine's blue!!)'s Journal:  We are making our way through the forest, trying to reach the school of magic so I can talk to Dumbledore the Dazzlingly Magenta.  Maybe, combining our powers, we can put a stop to these accursed Imperials.  Also, I'll get a chance to show him my Pointy Hat Trick.  No doubt it'll become the rage at the school, and I'll be famous!  If not, I know he'll like it, the pervy git. 

            ::Nancing…::"WILL YOU QUIT PRANCING AROUND THE FOREST!?!  I CAN'T THINK ABOUT NOT BEING KING WHEN YOU'RE DOING THAT!"

            "First of all, **human**, I'm not 'prancing'.  I'm NANCING, you young fool!  Maybe you'll get it right in a few thousand years…oh yeah, you're MORTAL!  HAHAHA!"  Aragorn starts to pout, wishing Frodo was there to play with.

            "Quiet, all of you!  This part of the forest is dangerous!"  _Actually, it's only dangerous for ME, I'm pretty sure that Aragog is still pissed about my relationship with the Balrog a few Ages back. I know spiders worry a lot about family history, but I know he takes it way too far.  I never should have dumped  his ancestor Aragof for the Balrog so long ago; those grudges last for eons in spider families_.  "There are strange creatures about this forest, many of which you've never seen!  Also, we don't want to be spotted!  If we are, remember the plan?"

            Pippin was quick in answering the question.  "We all do the pointy hat trick?"

            "NO, STUPID!  DON'T YOU THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN MY TRICK!  Honestly, we never should've let you come with us.  No, we are to crouch down and put our cloaks over our heads."

            "Why do we do that, our cloaks don't look like a ring…"

            "Honestly, Boromir, I'd say you have a major ring fixation.  The cloaks will make us blend in with the forest."

            "Mr. Gandalf, where did you find that out?

            "I saw it in a movie once, Meriadoc… something called the Lord of the something…  Now, don't forget to hide if you're seen!"  Nobody heard it, because Merry had found a new carrot and all were watching it fervently.

            However, everybody heard a muffled voice command, "Freeze, all of you!  You are all under arrest!"

AN:  R/R DANGIT!!!


	3. Ever Seen STAR WARS?

Harry Potter and the Star Wars Invasion Chapter 3

Disclaimer:  If I owned any of this, you'd know about it.  I don't.  So there.

AN:  This is quickly turning into a Harry Potter AU.  For Star Trek, it isn't one, because they've traveled in time before.  For LOTR, it's definitely an AU.  For Star Wars, it isn't quite one.  

Hogwarts, Chapter Five 

"So what you're saying, Captain, is that you're here from the future to warn me about something from the past which can destroy us in the present, is that correct?"  Dumbledore always had that confusing way with people.  It was even rumored that he had a bumper sticker on his broom stating "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."  That one even confused McGonagall, who _does not get confused!_

"That is correct, Headmaster.  A crewmember from our ship determined that the invading force is from an old-style motion picture.  He said it was called _Star Wars_, or something like that.  How the writer, a man named Lucas found out that it was real, is beyond me.  As it turns out, the technology from that fictional movie is real, and they are on the verge of attacking your school.  Now, we are here to ask you a question:  How can we help you?"

Dumbledore went over, found his Pensive, and started transferring thoughts from his mind to the swirl.  As the substance began to spin quickly, one voice loudly drawled, "You know, we need a diversion.  Ever see _Star Wars_?  Wait, obviously not if your crewmember had to tell you about it…"  He thought for a minute or so, and then said, "Captain, have you ever heard of time travel?"

"It's the worst two words I know, right after 'Prime Directive.'  What about it?"

"This George Lucas you're talking about is a powerful wizard, and possesses an unmatched understanding for magical methods of time travel.  He may have gone back in time to discover the _Star Wars_ galaxy, and then wrote about it in a muggle movie.  Anyways, turns out, it seems that one of our students or teachers, or possibly an outsider, has found out a way to bring people forward through time.  Even if it was an impossible distance away, the person has managed to do it.  I am going to have to have a meeting with my people, and a fellow wizard named Gandalf.  After deliberation, we will have a decision for your offer of protection."

The man named Kirk started beeping, and he quickly got his communicator, said, "Wait a second, please" and flipped it open one-handed.  "Kirk here."

"Captain?  Spock here.  We seem to have a problem.  Could we speak in private?"

"Stand by, Spock.  Kirk out.  Headmaster?"

Dumbledore gestured to the door behind them.  "Please go down the stairs, then go into the first classroom on the left.  You will have privacy there."

"Thank you, sir."

Down in the classroom, he found the creature named Peeves, who immediately started throwing chalk at the captain.  Kirk yelled "FREEZE!!" but to no avail.  The creature gave him an enormous raspberry, and, having run out of chalk, began throwing erasers at him.  Kirk, intrigued, pulled out his tricorder.  Spock's familiar words flew through his head:  "It's life, Jim, but not as we know it."  "Screw this!!" Kirk yelled, quickly drew out his phaser, and with it set to stun, shot Peeves, who went limp in midair, and started drifting around the room, unconscious.  "Kirk to Spock, what's going on?"

**Captain's Log, Stardate 3326.8:  **The Enterprise is on full security alert, with Security Chief Chekov at the head of the search.  There has been no response from the team for an hour and a half.  We fear that they are hidden somewhere on the ship with one of the "calamities" Bones was telling Spock about.  Also, it seems that the boy mentioned by Spock has damaged the internal sensors, as we are having no luck tracking him.  Right now, I plan to continue speaking with Headmaster Dumbledore until we have reached a conclusion.  If we do not get a good response from him, I plan to take matters into my own hands, placing shield generators on the edge of the school and placing security teams at the outside wall of the school armed with phaser rifles, and one multifiring heavy phaser per team.

"I understand, Captain.  If we have not found the boy in one hour, we shall place the ship on automatic, and flood the decks with an anesthetic gas.  Might I offer a suggestion, sir?  I believe that the search will be more fruitful if we use off-duty personnel to look for the boy."  "Good idea, Spock, go ahead with your plan.  Just find the boy.  I place the entire search in your hands, and you make the decisions.  Kirk out."

Spock turned to the communications station.  "Miss Uhura, secure from general quarters, and organize all off-duty personnel to arm themselves, organize in groups, and go through the ship with tricorders looking for the boy.  Also, notify all personnel, by encrypted intercom, to put on gas masks.  We do not want the ship to be out of control when the ship is anesthetized."

"Yes, Mr. Spock" was the reply.  Immediately, the red alert siren turned off.

[…]

_Great, where am I now?  A man with a really bad Scottish accent just tried to put me down a second ago.  Man, he was really weird, muttering about "My poor engines."  Huh?  What's that smell?_  Malfoy cast the Bubble-Headed Charm just in time; the anesthetic gas was just about to take effect.  Malfoy kept running through the ship, until he found the shuttlebay.  It was deserted.  "What are these things?" referring about the shuttlecraft.  Then he looked out into space, to see Earth to the left edge of the open shuttlebay doors.  He screamed, and fainted, smacking his forehead on a bulkhead on the way down.

**Imperial Log:  **We are beginning interrogation of the new prisoners, dressed in ancient traveler's garb.  The humans have responded well to the interrogation, but answering the questions after they mutter either "hat", "ring", "carrot", or "Frodo".  The midgets and nonhuman slime have not responded, though.  Also, the old man (whom we think might be a Jedi) has said nothing the entire time, only asking to keep his staff.  We have allowed this, hoping to get some answers, but he has not said a word since.  

"Ensign Walters!  Come here!"

The recently demoted and injured officer stuttered, "Y-yes, sir?"

"Ready the interrogation droid for torture!  We need answers, now!"

"Yes, sir!"

After the midgets were injected by the droid, General Korfram demanded, "Why are you here!"

"To do the pointy hat trick" said the brown-haired one.  Korfram slapped him.  "Why are you here!"  "I told you, the trick!"  Korfram punched him, and turned to the blond one.

"Why are you here!"

"To play with the carrot!"  Korfram, quaking with anger, pulled out his blaster and shot Walters again in the gut.

"WALTERS!  GET SOME REAL ANSWERS!"  Walters whimpered, apparently understanding the order.

Korfram led the droid to the tall silent man.  When it was about to inject the old man, he pointed the staff at it, and it exploded.  Korfram pulled out his blaster, but it became encrusted with rust, and wouldn't work.  "Who are you!"  "I am Gandalf the (Insert your favorite color here)!  I am on a quest, and you're in my way.  Now let us go or be punished!"

Korfram laughed, a low-pitched rumble.  "Never, old man.  The Empire owns you now.  FOREVER!"  Gandalf waved his staff, and all the stormtroopers slumped to the ground, unable to move.  He waved his staff again, and a ring of fire three feet high circled around the general.  "Let us free, or the circle's circumference will become smaller, reducing you to a pile of dust!"  Korfram, with a sudden and expected change of mind, nodded.  Gandalf walked over to the holding cell with a tall blonde and a short bearded angry man inside.  

"Now come on, you two lovebirds, let's go" he said to them.  The taller started with,  "Aw, come on Gandalf, he was just about to—" while the other immediately said, "SHUT UP LEGOLAS!  I'LL CLEAVE YOUR HEAD WITH MY AXE, AND _YOU KNOW_ WHAT I MEAN!!!!"  Gimli quickly but obviously glanced down of Legolas' trousers, causing the ancient elf to yelp.

"Shut up the both of you!  We must find the hobbits and escape!  Gimli, you can try to…well, whatever you were about to do to Legolas, only after we escape.  I won't even watch this time, ok?  Then that's settled!  Let's go!"  They looked around the camp, and found the hobbits being beaten up by a wounded soldier.  Gandalf knocked out the soldier with his staff, and scolded the hobbits for not being able to defend themselves, _and_ for completely forgetting that they had swords.  They weren't listening, since Pippin was looking for a carrot in the mess hall and Merry went with him.  As a group (except Legolas and Gimli, but let's leave them for a bit while they take care of some, uh, "unfinished business"), they later proceed to the school.


End file.
